We had a baby. And then we fell apart a little.
I knew things changed when you welcomed a little love. But part of me thought my husband and I would be exempt from the impending shitstorm.
I was counting on a couple of things.
Firstly, we were madly in love. Ads and I had done the work, investing time and energy into our connection which I could proudly say was rock solid.
And I’d spent so much of my life learning about skills around conscious relating and relationships, so I knew the triggers. I mean, I was teaching this stuff – I knew it inside out! So it came as a rude shock to find ourselves in the new parents pressure cooker.
We went from sailing through life on our magical love bubble carpet ride to landing rudely on the ground with a crash, looking at each other thinking “WTF has happened to us?!”
We were in a spin. The combination of extreme sleep deprivation, being complete novices in Babyland, navigating a new family structure and having less time to be ‘us’ completely floored both new parents.
There were a few months there where we were scratching around in our armoury of relationship tools and having to use everything we had to make it work. And I’ve got to say, I don’t know how couples get through the tough times without these tools. I’ve been teaching and practicing this work for many years, but never before have Ads and I been put to the test like this.
It’s been a pretty intense ride, and really it’s only in the past few months that we feel like we’ve emerged from the woods. But even though we’ve both had to shed a lot of skin, we have resurfaced a lot wiser.
Our love and our relationship have escalated to a whole new level. There’s our mutual understanding of what it takes when you teeter close to the edge, and the appreciation of loving each other with all of our flaws exposed. It was about digging deep and finding the gold along the way – even though that path was dark and unknown. Of feeling pushed and squeezed and pissed off, but still choosing love regardless.
It makes me more passionate than ever to share these tools through my work. Because helping couples and families that love each other navigate those tough times is so important, and so rewarding.
My next Relationships Workshop on November 23, which I’m co-presenting with the phenomenal Dane Thomas, has again evolved to pack a punch like never before. The content is profound, practical and life-changing – and applicable through all of life’s twists and turns.
It always sells out, so if you’re interested please snap up a ticket here now so you don’t miss out. Come along and learn the tools, so you too can learn how to find the gold.
Looking forward to seeing you there, lovers!